You would be so nice

I realized you exhaust me. You drain my strength and my will. I am drawn to you like a comet to an atomsphere. Still, i never seem to enter your world, your skies, your heavens. I never burn in your atmosphere I just pass by. I pass by, close enough for you to drain my everything. You exhaust me. Your irregular behaviour gets the best of me. You care one day, the next im not there. Im stuck, not sure where to follow. You tell me to walk i walk, you tell me to stop, I stop. Yet, Im terrified of telling you what goes on inside my big, fat, bloating and confused very confused heart. It aches so much, it's holding way too much back. If you could only show me where i can pour it out. That would be nice. You would be so nice.


Yet, it is you I waited for. Did you steal my dreams and made a life out of them? Why do you have to be so perfect, so full of everything I long for, everything I need. Did I tell you I dreamt about our son? Oh we named him after me, you asked me to. Did I tell you about our daughter? Oh we named her after you, I asked you to. Did I tell you I dreamt about our house? Did I tell you how happy you were? I didn't. Did I?. If I told you, would it change you? would you open?. You're so tightly shut, that small bursts of life you let shine through are enough to get me through the week. Yet, im terrified of you and your answers. Yet, it is you I waited for.

keyholes and keys, waiting the walk.

AGH lately I've been feeling as if something is missing in my life, I mean not in a bad way, im not depressed or anything just... like i said im missing something I've never had but I've always known where it goes. Like a keyhole waiting for the key, just there waiting. It does not define what the keyhole in the doornob is, I mean a doornob is still a doornob without the key but it knows what goes inside. Still I wait, it will come in the right time and I know that moment is closing in which makes it even harder to wait. Because I know that if i run and meet her in the way, we will cross each other paths lost until our paths cross again, which they will. So I wait or maybe I should be walking to meet her while she waits. Maybe just maybe we both need to wait, our paths will cross by themselves. I wait.


I walked into the room, you rushed by. Gold and silver floating in the air. I was petrified, scared, excited, intoxicated, mesmerized, I still am. You swept away my indiference, my fears, my dissapointments and replaced them with expectation and a feeling inside me I can only describe as longing. Longing for something I never had but always missed. It's as if my insides ask for the missing piece, and that's just it. You complete me in the most cheesy way you complete what I am, what I hoped, what i dreamt about. You visit my dreams so often, that you already have a duplicate key to my toughts. It's time to take the risky road and get to the thrill that awaits us. So, stop staring at me as if you don't know what you want and jump in.


So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, l-let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown


"What's the word that's burning in your heart?"

"Yeah, the ellipsis, it's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? Cause like you said, this is it. This is life. And I'm in love with you... I think that's the only thing I've ever really been sure of in my entire life. And I'm really messed up right now, and I got a whole lot of stuff I have to work out, but I don't want to waste any more of my life without you in it. And I think I can do this. I mean, I want to. I have to, right? "



Garden State changed my life.

Scrapbook

He poured two cups of coffee and took some of the cookie leftover from thrusday's get together, sat down on the porch, remembered.

Loralai I did not cry
On the day we said goodbye.
The whole world did stop spinning for an hour.
I don't want you to know,
That I don't want you to go,
Because you've got my only set of keys.

It seems as if the more we remember, the more we forget. Creating a mental scrapbook makes us cut the edges of memories just to focus on the ones we wish to keep. It is strange how we sometimes cut too much, never to little. Other times, when we need more space for new memories we dont hesitate to rip the whole page. Im ready to make new scrapbooks, to make new pictures, to paint new covers. I know it hurts to rip those pages, but you'll get a new one. I promise.

Say

Say-Sleeping at last

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ya80UbNgM1s

say what you really want to say
and the truest of forms will show
finallly youll find your soul

they impose the endless fight
to always be perfect
it seems they have been chosen
to be above the rest
but the contradiction stands
between these perfect lives
and the words that theyve misread
there was no reading

say all the things that you really want to say
the truest of forms will show
finally youll find your soul
say all the things that you really want to say
the truest of forms will show
and finally youll find your soul

the landscape of being
are endlessly competing, back and forth
for an answer to existance
that we can never find
in all of the places that weve searched out
in all of the pulses that weve takedn
there was no reading

say all the things that you really want to say
the truest of forms will show
finally youll find your soul
say all the things that you really want to say
then youll find the truest of forms will show
and finally well find our souls

give us the answers
and give the ability to hear

the landscape of being
are endlessly competing, back and forth
for an answer to existance
that we can understand

perhaps were looking far too closely
we cant see
all the evidence in its entirety
the air in our lungs
the complexity of our love

say all the things that you really want to say
then youll find teh truest of forms will show
and finally youll find your soul
say all the things that you really want to say

say what you really want to say
and the truest of forms will show
finally youll find your soul

Puddles

Impossibilities are simple vain words when in contact with You. What we believe to be a challenge you look at is a mere puddles we can jump over. For us they may in fact be enormous walls or impossible battles, for You there are simply the course of life. It is when we trust in You and do things through You that we begin to understand things as You want us to. It is when we stand in your shoulders that oceans look like puddles and mountains like grains of sand. It is in You that we have the power to overcome, in You that we understand our purpose. In You we overcome.

The halls of the dead are cold
filled with misadventures, misfortunes and misfits
cryptic wind chills my bones
the exit is closed

The way is shut
and the dead keep it.

Bridges

What is this darkness that swallows us?
This nothingness that covers us?
This void that sucks us in?

When did we lose our crowns?
When did we reject our royal right?
When did our light die, our life dried?

As children of a broken creation
As children of fallen emperors
As brokeness of an eternal covenant

We stood near de chasm
We schemed to bring You down to us
To repair the broken link
To fill the empty sea

You built the towers
You threw the lanes
You placed the lumber
You built the bridge

Chasm no more
Void no more
Darkness no more
Nothingness no more

I am home.