A dating manual for spirited young pursuers

Kim Piaget has become sort of my roommate in this blogging business. She prefers not to be involved in the process of posting or anything of that sort, but enjoys very much the writing process, and I believe has felt welcomed in this my little space. She wrote the next manual deriving from our long conversations on dating and the complex process that it requires you to endure, specially due to the social norms that in conveys. Hope you like it.


A dating manual for spirited young pursuers


The following manual is based on nothing but personal experience and a few recollections of cheesy lines. It does not intend to be entirely true, not even remotely instructional for the untrained eye. However, it may prove accurate for people as cynical as its author, who before writing it, understood that there was no possible way any of it would make sense.

1.- Impossible is nothing

People may want to set their luscious pupil on the untouchable person, the one who will always find one undesirable and even repulsive (In the better of cases, only unworthy of their time). Whenever one does this, make sure you fully engage in the process of slow death, while remaining slightly hopeful that a brushing of skin or the meeting of eyes may bring the minuscule sensation of relief to the unbearable agony of being in love.

2.- The somehow complicated love

Truth is that when two people love each other, time and space may meddle and pry to rearrange the possibilities of these two folks being together. To avoid dimensional crises and loss of memory, make sure:
a) You keep yourself either accompanied or in a relationship with a third party
b) You consider the possibility of “greener grass”
c) You play along the rules of a sick three people tango
d) You let go of the opportunity of your life while dumping the not-so-bad-could’ve-stayed-with-her alternative.
And keep always in mind the bad-timing.

3.- Unfathomable, plain love

It is sometimes easier to get involved in a relationship in which nothingness works as the foundation of feeling. Plain mechanical attraction and the lack of a better thing to do could bring to people together to work as one. In such cases, it is very recommendable to do as follows:
a) Consider the compliance of every social rule in existence regarding dating
b) Avoid remembering who you’re with by calling them “sweetie”, “love”, “honey”. This helps to spread numbness and fake affection.
c) Never wonder why you’re with whoever you’re with. It will make explanations too complicated. Deep is a no-go.

4.- Hold-fast

As sailors in a storm, the recalling of the saying Hold-fast is as valid as a knuckle punch to the mouth when it comes to tempestive relationships. Never doubt that you’re better off in bad company than alone when you lack the common sense to leave a relationship before it gets stormy. Tears are nothing compared to dry eyes right? At least they involve a bit of feeling and emotion.

5.- The “inexistent” love

Some people (clearly delusional), come to think that there is a chance of maintaining a non-agonic, pain-free relationship. The case though I only mention as a completion to the cosmology of love and as its mythical counterpart. It is so rare that there’s no actual indication as to how to proceed if the case is ever met.
It is also believed that this ontological precept of love is the one that encourages the previous four.